okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
