How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
