he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
