is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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