ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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