How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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