How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize