Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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