Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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