If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sex in a hospital.. check
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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