my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
