Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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