They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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