as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
