Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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