I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I smell stomach acid.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
