Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
