Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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