I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
