The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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