do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
