you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
