it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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