She said her name was "party"
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
