lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I love you. Go after that dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
