it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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