and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
