I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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