I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
