I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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