a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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