And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
