clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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