3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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