That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
