the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
