he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
