don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
