bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
