We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
