ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
