she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
