You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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