I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
