hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
