Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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