was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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