I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize