I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
