eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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