If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
