We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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