You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
