it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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