i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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