Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
