um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Too much gin, very little bucket
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
