oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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