All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
