why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
