Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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