dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
