I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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